I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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