I'm drive I can fine osifer
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
