i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize