You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
