why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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