YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
