I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize