Apparently you make a good broom.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize