My liver just broke up with me...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
