Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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