I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
These tits shall not be calmed
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