"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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