It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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