Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
