I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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