I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
