Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
