I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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