three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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