ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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