When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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