dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
