so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
