boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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