my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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