So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Randomize