he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
