No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
