Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
