The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
