I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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