well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize