You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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