thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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