I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize