He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
