Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize