Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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