her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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