you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
