Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize