I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
