Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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