somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
