We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Randomize
