i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
