how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
