How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So much rum. So many feels.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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