I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
