My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
