Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
