I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
