im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
