youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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