I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
