WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
