i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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