This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
