this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
