If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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