so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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