Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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