dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
