Buhtt sex?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
