I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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