You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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