The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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