Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
