i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
