i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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