But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize