you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize