He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
