Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
