Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
