hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize