After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Randomize
