I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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