I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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