do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
