You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
