Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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